A New Light on Christmas.

I know I haven't blogged in a very long time. But the very thing that has been heavy on my heart all day long needed to be shared.

Most of you are aware of my trip to Uganda, Africa this summer. That trip, was amazing and I truly will never be the same. Never. Not only was it my dream and passion to do missions in Africa but God is still teaching me today what it means to love the poor and the needy. While in Africa I worked in an orphan village with around 1000 orphans living there. Those orphans, well to say the least, they captured my heart. They were everything I expected them to be and so much more. To tell you the truth my heart is still very much in Uganda. God made me to do missions and love people and today I am feeling that responsibility very well. You see, my dad has spent all day buying my brothers and I Christmas presents. All day. As I talked to my dad about all that I wanted on my list (Seeing that he is a man and I tend to want girly things it was a VERY in depth list. Down to the brands and everything. Haha.) something just didn't feel right. My heart was hurting and pictures of those precious orphans or that grandmother taking care of her 15 orphaned grandchildren popped into my head. They have nothing. Literally nothing. And I have everything I would ever need to have a comfortable life. But yet I hand a lengthy list of things I want and "need" to my dad every year. Something is just wrong about this situation.

I know, it's normal and acceptable to get presents on Christmas. And I am very thankful God has provided for my family to enjoy a holiday like this. But, when I think back on the day in Africa while making a child's bed and picking up the "pillow" and it really being a pillow case stuffed with the only clothes this kid has and being used as her pillow every night, it's hard to grasp the fact that parents are bending over backwards to get us the newest luxuries we 'need' and lavishing ourselves in things. At the end of the day they are really just, things.

I am in no way bashing the idea of presents on Christmas. But, maybe this year, we should appreciate the things we get a little more. Maybe we should remember the people in this world who are not nearly as wealthy as us. Maybe we should make Jesus the center of this holiday. After all, it is His birthday!(:

Opinions.

My name is Tessa Diane Whitten and I get frustrated quite easily sometimes. There you go, I said it. I hate this about myself but its part of me. Now, I am by no means one of those people who are always stating all of my frustrations but they are still in my heart. The devil loves it when I get frustrated. I hate giving him happiness. 

So recently I got in a state of being so frustrated with a few people. EVERYTHING they did I could not stand. It was horrible. I was praying one day about it and asking God to just help me conquer this problem. I then opened my Bible app on my phone and there it was. The verse that pierced my heart. I had to fix my problem and God knew what to say.

Proverbs 18:2 "A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions."

Oh boy, That verse changed everything. I don't want to be a fool! In my heart and sometimes through my actions I was definitly taking delight in airing my opinions and I by NO means was planning on understanding where that person was coming from. 

I am sharing this because I know I cant be the only person who struggles with this. It's not good to have these feelings within you. I encourage you to fix the problem. Only with God's help of course.

Love,

Tessa

Plans.

God is teaching me something and I must share because it took me all too long to learn this lesson. It seems like Abortion has been a big thing that has been talked about lately among my friends. No, this is not a post about abortion. But while talking about it with someone God showed me something: He knows EXACTLY what He is doing. He has got every little thing in our life covered. But we don't get the great reward of blessings if we don't trust that He knows what He is doing. 

I guess what I mean is that we try to make our own plans. We try to plan our whole life out because well, I really can't think of a good reason why. We think that God wants us here at this time and point in our life or that this horrible situation in our life could not possibly be from Him. But we forget to ask Him where He wants us or what He is doing. And we MESS UP. When we do it on our own we simply mess everything up. It's our human nature to mess things up and we do a pretty great job at it. 

I can't imagine how much it hurts Him for us to try things on our own. It's like this: You have spent hours cooking a delicious and well thought meal out for your friends. You picked all of their favorite dishes and you know it is just an incredible feast. Then your friends call you about 5 minutes before they are suppose to be there and tell you that they are going to go out to eat. You're speechless, You're hurt, and you sit there staring at the whole table set with every ounce of food just sitting there. Getting cold. Then you think, "They are spending so much money now. Why would they do that when I have a homemade meal here, and it's free!" 

I know, as a person who loves to cook, that would hurt me so bad. So why exactly do we do that to God almost everyday. It hurts my heart to think about it. 

Love yall, 

Tessa(:

Practical Atheist.

Today I heard a term that intrigued me. I'm sure you can guess what that might be if you just look at the title of this post. The words practical Atheist made me want to know more. I mean this isnt a religion that is recognized as a ACTUAL religion. There is no 'Church of Practical Atheist.' Yet so many people practice this religion today. Many people go to churches that 'support' Practical Atheism. What exactly is this term you might ask. Well, let me tell you. Practical Atheism is a person who states they are a Christian. They SAY they love Christ but everything else in their life SCREAMS otherwise. This person loves Christ with their lips but hates Him with their actions. Harsh right? God has opened my eyes to something that I never really noticed before. It's the fact that  their are people in this world that HATE Christ. They hate Him. They hate the very person who died so they might live! They HATE Him. If you are a Christian and that does not break your heart. You need to look deeply at how you view God and what your relationship with Him looks like. Practical Atheism is a hatred of God through your actions. I want to challenge you to look at your life and search your heart to make sure you are not practicing this very religion.

Love-
Tessa

Things on my heart.

I am really missing my mom right now. When the weather starts to get cold and crisp I think about her often. I don't know why. She just has a connection to winter in my heart. This is homecoming week. I wish she was here to watch me and Jace get everything ready and help us(me) organize everything. She would be loving the craziness of it all. Every big event in my life such as homecoming and award banquets and things like that a small piece of me is missing. It gets me every time. I think of what is to come like prom, graduation, and my wedding. She won't be there. That is the hardest thing for my heart to accept. It hasn't yet and I don't think it ever will. I just miss her presence she brought light to our house and a comfort that many people cant contain. She truly was the greatest woman I knew. And I know a lot of people can agree with me.

This Africa trip is kind of me fulfilling what my mom could never do. I am doing it for God first. He is the reason I am going over there. But my mom always wanted to go and serve in another country. But she couldn't. She was to sick. Her heart was for people. I want to carry on her legacy in the midst of creating my own.

Christ is so strong. He is holding my heart together as it is aching. He is helping me get through the days. He is giving me joy. I can be joyful in these times because of HIM. I love Him.

Love, Tessa

Growing up.

Man oh man.
Life is going by so fast. I look back and I am just amazed at how I got right here. Just four years ago I lost my mom on a cold Sunday morning and visiting family in Louisiana. Now I am living here and loving every minute of it. I'm starting to drive.(scary I know) I am going to Africa without my dad. I'm a sophmore.

I'm growing up but still so young. Life has been crazy and great and hard. But I am sooo blessed.

The Battle.

I am so imperfect.

I am flawed beyond measure.

But Christ sees me as beautiful and wonderful and... HIS.

My heart overflows when I think of my Lord and His great love for me.

These past few months I have learned a lot.

Let me share with you guys:

This is something very close to my heart and very raw in my life. But I feel I must share because I know I am not the only one going through it. As a girl, there is a lot of pressure on looks and as a human being, there is a lot of pressure on who you are. Satan knows these things. Therefore, Satan uses these things to hurt my Christian walk. 

These past few months have been a total battle in my heart. Satan is constantly telling me I am not good enough. Satan tells me I am not pretty enough and not popular enough. He tells me no one likes me and that I will never be worth anything. He tells me I am dumb and stupid. He tells me I am useless. 

While Satan is telling me these things Jesus is whispering over me that I am loved but I won't listen. My heart immediately goes to the lying voice and then I pick myself apart. This is where my heart is deceitful. This is the point where I finally understand why girls have eating disorders and are always acting like something they are not. It's not totally their fault. It's Satan's tricks they are buying into. I honestly never understood all of that until now. 

Now I am not saying I had an eating disorder or hurt myself physically. Besides thinking I wasn't good enough and being insecure I totally ignored Christ. That was my biggest downfall. That should not have happened. The WHOLE time He was telling my I was good enough and beautiful but I completely ignored Him. I trusted the Devil over my Savior and let the Devil win... 

But just like the God I know He brought me back to Him. I stopped listening to Satan telling me I was useless. I started listening to Christ again. And that was the best thing to happen.

I share this story to tell you guys that everything you say has an effect on someone. Because Satan used my friends saying I wasnt smart enough to put me down... And It hurt. So just think before you speak, You never know whats going on in their heart. 

Love-Tessa(: