My mom...

Crazy.
Loving.
Patient.
Faithful.
Trusting God.
Fun.
Missed.

Thinking about my mom tonight I decided to write a blog about this. I dont talk much about my mom or the experience I had through her death. She died one shocking morning in January of 2008. I was 11. Although I was saddened by the fact of my mom passing away somehow I felt comfort. The truth is at the time I had no clue what was giving me peace in the time of such tragedy. Honestly, I had no relationship with Christ from the age 8 to 11. I wasnt growing although I was saved at age 5. So the peace I had during the time of mom passing away it was not automatically put in my mind as God's comfort. After mom died my family moved back to Ruston and started going to Cook again. God ROCKED MY WORLD! I realized I had to own up to what God was doing with my life. I realized that the joy and comfort I felt in the time of mourning was God rocking me as if I was a little baby. I realized that I have this amazing gift of salvation and it's important that I am growing in Christ to make and impact in people's lives the way my mom did in mine. And lastly, somehow God showed me that I will be on the mission field for Him one day.

So my mom's death was not a huge horrible, overwhelming, complicated part of my life. It turned out to be an amazing, overwhelming WAKE-UP CALL. And everyday I thank Jesus for that.

In Job, Job fell to his knees in worship to God when he found out the worst news of his life. Which shows God can give us peace in the midst of tragedy but if you look closely in the rest of Job he wasn't always understanding that God knew what He was doing. Job questioned God and MOURNED. Which brings me to the other part of my story.

Though God showed me amazing things through mom passing away I still miss her. A lot. Sometimes I wonder why He took her at such an important time in my life, teenage years. Sometimes I just had to sit there and cry (John 11:35). But I never got angry with God. Somehow HE gave me the understanding that HE was doing what HE needed to do. So yea. Its not all fine and dandy. I miss my mommy. And tonight I just want her with me. Here.

So that was a lot on my heart tonight.

With love, Tessa (:

The mission field I am going in to... SCHOOL.

School. School. School. Its so crazy to think that it is almost time to start another year in the most crazy and terrifying place for a teenager like myself! I will be going into 9th grade. Going into this year Im striving to be who God wants me to be... not who I expect myself to be along with others. If I am being who God wants me to be His love and His desires will pour out of my life. This is where the whole mission part of my school days takes place. Oh boy! High school and Junior High is rough! So many kids are mean and just SEARCHING. They are searching for what the secret is to an incredible and joyful life! We look at teenagers and dont really realize this. But talking with my friends and peers at school it's what they want!!

So I picture myself as a funnel. God pours life into me so I can pour it out on others! I am praying hard on this matter. It is key for me to be open to these students... I truly believe this is what God has me at Choudrant for... So basically Im praying for steady faith... and a strong heart. (:

k.love.Tessa

" Remember your creator in the days of your youth, before the days of trouble come and the years approach when you will say, " I find no pleasure in them." " -- Ecclesiastes 12:1

Hurting people...

Oh how I love Sundays! Sitting in church today, half listening to the sermon half listening to what God was talking to me about in my mind.... I started to think. How many people in this church building are truly just hurting? I think so many times we put on our pretty little church faces with the biggest smiles on our face walk into church and face the people. But why? Honestly, that is the complete opposite of what we are supposed to do. Isnt our church FAMILY somewhere to comfort and encourage one another. But instead of doing that we just expect everyone to be happy and solid.

I do this so many times. I expect it with myself and others... But I wanna break down that wall we put up. I wanna be able to be encouraged through my struggles and encourage others through theirs! What if we changed the way our church families operated in this aspect? Be the change! (:

With love, Tessa

P.s. Im not saying that it is bad to be happy! Ok. Thats all.

Matthew 5:6 (:

All props to Amber Moore for showing me this verse when I needed it the most! I've read this verse over and over again yet never truly grasped the beauty of it!

"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness for they will be filled."

Whoa! Right now in my life I am hungry for more of Jesus, all the time, I wanna be like this everyday of my life! I've noticed this one fact, When we are hungry for Jesus we will find Him and be filled of Him! My prayer is that I will stay hungry and thirsty for my Jesus! (:

This Summer... :)

This summer has been insane! God has used so many situations in my life to teach me and train me! To start off my amazing summer I went to New Mexico! Wow! What an Incredible experience! Going to love on those people was so fulfilling! Knowing that I was serving God while just loving on some kids was the least to say indescribable. I had an amazing team with me of some of the most servant hearted people I have ever met! While in New Mexico I was reading Job. Job was so great for me that week! I mean we were living in dirt and tents. Job taught just to keep my eye on what God was doing and preparing in this place. My circumstances ultimately did not matter! I just love the way he shows me things! :)

The second big thing was Cross Camp! Oh boy! Cross Camp is truly a great place to be! What an overwhelming feeling to be around roughly 750 students ready to learn about this awesome God of ours! Honestly, being totally stripped away from reality and placed at a college having fun and worshiping is indeed awesome! Haha! I met some incredible and inspiring people while at camp! Including this great girl who is a few years older than me and a lot like myself! Sharing mission stories and just laughing together was oh so sweet! I'm ready to hang out with this chicka more! :)

All together my summer has been stinkin amazing! Besides the mission trip and Cross Camp many youth hangouts have taken place! It has brought our youth group together in a much needed time! As school approaches I'm praying for strength for what is ahead. School is a whole mission field in itself. Im ready and willing to serve my fellow students! :) I think thats all I have for now!

With love, Tessa!