Practical Atheist.

Today I heard a term that intrigued me. I'm sure you can guess what that might be if you just look at the title of this post. The words practical Atheist made me want to know more. I mean this isnt a religion that is recognized as a ACTUAL religion. There is no 'Church of Practical Atheist.' Yet so many people practice this religion today. Many people go to churches that 'support' Practical Atheism. What exactly is this term you might ask. Well, let me tell you. Practical Atheism is a person who states they are a Christian. They SAY they love Christ but everything else in their life SCREAMS otherwise. This person loves Christ with their lips but hates Him with their actions. Harsh right? God has opened my eyes to something that I never really noticed before. It's the fact that  their are people in this world that HATE Christ. They hate Him. They hate the very person who died so they might live! They HATE Him. If you are a Christian and that does not break your heart. You need to look deeply at how you view God and what your relationship with Him looks like. Practical Atheism is a hatred of God through your actions. I want to challenge you to look at your life and search your heart to make sure you are not practicing this very religion.

Love-
Tessa

Things on my heart.

I am really missing my mom right now. When the weather starts to get cold and crisp I think about her often. I don't know why. She just has a connection to winter in my heart. This is homecoming week. I wish she was here to watch me and Jace get everything ready and help us(me) organize everything. She would be loving the craziness of it all. Every big event in my life such as homecoming and award banquets and things like that a small piece of me is missing. It gets me every time. I think of what is to come like prom, graduation, and my wedding. She won't be there. That is the hardest thing for my heart to accept. It hasn't yet and I don't think it ever will. I just miss her presence she brought light to our house and a comfort that many people cant contain. She truly was the greatest woman I knew. And I know a lot of people can agree with me.

This Africa trip is kind of me fulfilling what my mom could never do. I am doing it for God first. He is the reason I am going over there. But my mom always wanted to go and serve in another country. But she couldn't. She was to sick. Her heart was for people. I want to carry on her legacy in the midst of creating my own.

Christ is so strong. He is holding my heart together as it is aching. He is helping me get through the days. He is giving me joy. I can be joyful in these times because of HIM. I love Him.

Love, Tessa

Growing up.

Man oh man.
Life is going by so fast. I look back and I am just amazed at how I got right here. Just four years ago I lost my mom on a cold Sunday morning and visiting family in Louisiana. Now I am living here and loving every minute of it. I'm starting to drive.(scary I know) I am going to Africa without my dad. I'm a sophmore.

I'm growing up but still so young. Life has been crazy and great and hard. But I am sooo blessed.

The Battle.

I am so imperfect.

I am flawed beyond measure.

But Christ sees me as beautiful and wonderful and... HIS.

My heart overflows when I think of my Lord and His great love for me.

These past few months I have learned a lot.

Let me share with you guys:

This is something very close to my heart and very raw in my life. But I feel I must share because I know I am not the only one going through it. As a girl, there is a lot of pressure on looks and as a human being, there is a lot of pressure on who you are. Satan knows these things. Therefore, Satan uses these things to hurt my Christian walk. 

These past few months have been a total battle in my heart. Satan is constantly telling me I am not good enough. Satan tells me I am not pretty enough and not popular enough. He tells me no one likes me and that I will never be worth anything. He tells me I am dumb and stupid. He tells me I am useless. 

While Satan is telling me these things Jesus is whispering over me that I am loved but I won't listen. My heart immediately goes to the lying voice and then I pick myself apart. This is where my heart is deceitful. This is the point where I finally understand why girls have eating disorders and are always acting like something they are not. It's not totally their fault. It's Satan's tricks they are buying into. I honestly never understood all of that until now. 

Now I am not saying I had an eating disorder or hurt myself physically. Besides thinking I wasn't good enough and being insecure I totally ignored Christ. That was my biggest downfall. That should not have happened. The WHOLE time He was telling my I was good enough and beautiful but I completely ignored Him. I trusted the Devil over my Savior and let the Devil win... 

But just like the God I know He brought me back to Him. I stopped listening to Satan telling me I was useless. I started listening to Christ again. And that was the best thing to happen.

I share this story to tell you guys that everything you say has an effect on someone. Because Satan used my friends saying I wasnt smart enough to put me down... And It hurt. So just think before you speak, You never know whats going on in their heart. 

Love-Tessa(:

Trusting God...

Once again I am sitting here thinking of Africa... My heart leaps to think I will be there in June of next year. I am prepping for this trip in so many ways... It is becoming real that my dream of being there is in the process of coming true. I am praying the I will follow God through this all and focus on Him alone. I need to keep my mind on Him and not how much money I have to raise. That is my daily struggle. Honestly. The amount I must raise is quite an overwhelming amount. But He whispers over me "YOU don't have to raise it, let me do the work." And suddenly I am so thankful. In my eyes I already have the money in my hands and the trip is paid for. And although it isn't, I am so grateful that I have that trust in Christ. After my mom's death I thought I had this whole 'trusting God' thing down. Oh, I had no clue what it really felt like to fully have to trust God.

I feel like Peter. Walking out on that water. And I start to question God. I start to drown in my emotions. And He holds out His hand. His HOLY and RIGHTEOUS hand. He holds it out for me to grab and He pulls me up. And He teaches me what it is like to trust Him. And It is so exciting.

I cannot explain how amazed I am that God chose little ole me to take this trip... But I am oh so thankful.

Much Love- Tessa

Bigger than me.

Today I went to a nursing home. I played dominoes for hours and just talked to these people.A nursing home is most likely the loneliest place I have ever been to.These people are hurting and a lot of the time not just physically.Some of them don't have any family anymore and some have family but are completely abandoned.So as I talked to these people that have been through so much.I saw the hurt and loneliness in their eyes. 

& once again my savior reminded me that this life is not just about me.

-Tessa

Africa.

This summer, I have the opportunity to go to Africa. My heart has longed to be in Africa for quite some time now. Yet this trip took me by total surprise. Africa was such a big dream of mine that I put it to a high accomplishment that I thought would take me a while to reach. But no. This summer, I am going to Africa. I am raising the money totally by faith. I must raise all of the money. But I am not worrying about that. God has total control over that. Actually He has total control over all of this. 

My heart hurts so much for the people in Africa. I have this intense passion to be with them. They are hurting and they are hungry and they are poor and dirty. They are everything that is an outcast in my country. Yet, I would much rather be spending time with them then most of the clean and well off people in my country. But you know, I have never been to Africa. I have not met many people from Africa. But yet, my heart is so intensely there. I find it so intriguing that you can have a connection with people that you have never met. You can have a love for someone that you have never even laid eyes upon. That's where I am at.

So, God isn't sending me over to some country just to say that I've have been there. God hasn't created this heart within me just to dream of a day when I will meet them. But I am going to Africa to love the people that my heart longs to be with. I am simply just going to love. I am so excited to take this crazy journey that Christ is sending me on. Lord willing, I will be in Africa this summer. And this makes my heart leap with joy.

Love- Tessa