Monday, October 31, 2011

The Battle.

I am so imperfect.
I am flawed beyond measure.
But Christ sees me as beautiful and wonderful and... HIS.
My heart overflows when I think of my Lord and His great love for me.
These past few months I have learned a lot.
Let me share with you guys:

This is something very close to my heart and very raw in my life. But I feel I must share because I know I am not the only one going through it. As a girl, there is a lot of pressure on looks and as a human being, there is a lot of pressure on who you are. Satan knows these things. Therefore, Satan uses these things to hurt my Christian walk. 

These past few months have been a total battle in my heart. Satan is constantly telling me I am not good enough. Satan tells me I am not pretty enough and not popular enough. He tells me no one likes me and that I will never be worth anything. He tells me I am dumb and stupid. He tells me I am useless. 

While Satan is telling me these things Jesus is whispering over me that I am loved but I won't listen. My heart immediately goes to the lying voice and then I pick myself apart. This is where my heart is deceitful. This is the point where I finally understand why girls have eating disorders and are always acting like something they are not. It's not totally their fault. It's Satan's tricks they are buying into. I honestly never understood all of that until now. 

Now I am not saying I had an eating disorder or hurt myself physically. Besides thinking I wasn't good enough and being insecure I totally ignored Christ. That was my biggest downfall. That should not have happened. The WHOLE time He was telling my I was good enough and beautiful but I completely ignored Him. I trusted the Devil over my Savior and let the Devil win... 

But just like the God I know He brought me back to Him. I stopped listening to Satan telling me I was useless. I started listening to Christ again. And that was the best thing to happen.

I share this story to tell you guys that everything you say has an effect on someone. Because Satan used my friends saying I wasnt smart enough to put me down... And It hurt. So just think before you speak, You never know whats going on in their heart. 


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