Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Things on my heart.

I am really missing my mom right now. When the weather starts to get cold and crisp I think about her often. I don't know why. She just has a connection to winter in my heart. This is homecoming week. I wish she was here to watch me and Jace get everything ready and help us(me) organize everything. She would be loving the craziness of it all. Every big event in my life such as homecoming and award banquets and things like that a small piece of me is missing. It gets me every time. I think of what is to come like prom, graduation, and my wedding. She won't be there. That is the hardest thing for my heart to accept. It hasn't yet and I don't think it ever will. I just miss her presence she brought light to our house and a comfort that many people cant contain. She truly was the greatest woman I knew. And I know a lot of people can agree with me.

This Africa trip is kind of me fulfilling what my mom could never do. I am doing it for God first. He is the reason I am going over there. But my mom always wanted to go and serve in another country. But she couldn't. She was to sick. Her heart was for people. I want to carry on her legacy in the midst of creating my own.

Christ is so strong. He is holding my heart together as it is aching. He is helping me get through the days. He is giving me joy. I can be joyful in these times because of HIM. I love Him.

Love, Tessa

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Growing up.

Man oh man.
Life is going by so fast. I look back and I am just amazed at how I got right here. Just four years ago I lost my mom on a cold Sunday morning and visiting family in Louisiana. Now I am living here and loving every minute of it. I'm starting to drive.(scary I know) I am going to Africa without my dad. I'm a sophmore.

I'm growing up but still so young. Life has been crazy and great and hard. But I am sooo blessed.

Monday, October 31, 2011

The Battle.

I am so imperfect.
I am flawed beyond measure.
But Christ sees me as beautiful and wonderful and... HIS.
My heart overflows when I think of my Lord and His great love for me.
These past few months I have learned a lot.
Let me share with you guys:

This is something very close to my heart and very raw in my life. But I feel I must share because I know I am not the only one going through it. As a girl, there is a lot of pressure on looks and as a human being, there is a lot of pressure on who you are. Satan knows these things. Therefore, Satan uses these things to hurt my Christian walk. 

These past few months have been a total battle in my heart. Satan is constantly telling me I am not good enough. Satan tells me I am not pretty enough and not popular enough. He tells me no one likes me and that I will never be worth anything. He tells me I am dumb and stupid. He tells me I am useless. 

While Satan is telling me these things Jesus is whispering over me that I am loved but I won't listen. My heart immediately goes to the lying voice and then I pick myself apart. This is where my heart is deceitful. This is the point where I finally understand why girls have eating disorders and are always acting like something they are not. It's not totally their fault. It's Satan's tricks they are buying into. I honestly never understood all of that until now. 

Now I am not saying I had an eating disorder or hurt myself physically. Besides thinking I wasn't good enough and being insecure I totally ignored Christ. That was my biggest downfall. That should not have happened. The WHOLE time He was telling my I was good enough and beautiful but I completely ignored Him. I trusted the Devil over my Savior and let the Devil win... 

But just like the God I know He brought me back to Him. I stopped listening to Satan telling me I was useless. I started listening to Christ again. And that was the best thing to happen.

I share this story to tell you guys that everything you say has an effect on someone. Because Satan used my friends saying I wasnt smart enough to put me down... And It hurt. So just think before you speak, You never know whats going on in their heart. 


Saturday, October 15, 2011

Trusting God...

Once again I am sitting here thinking of Africa... My heart leaps to think I will be there in June of next year. I am prepping for this trip in so many ways... It is becoming real that my dream of being there is in the process of coming true. I am praying the I will follow God through this all and focus on Him alone. I need to keep my mind on Him and not how much money I have to raise. That is my daily struggle. Honestly. The amount I must raise is quite an overwhelming amount. But He whispers over me "YOU don't have to raise it, let me do the work." And suddenly I am so thankful. In my eyes I already have the money in my hands and the trip is paid for. And although it isn't, I am so grateful that I have that trust in Christ. After my mom's death I thought I had this whole 'trusting God' thing down. Oh, I had no clue what it really felt like to fully have to trust God.

I feel like Peter. Walking out on that water. And I start to question God. I start to drown in my emotions. And He holds out His hand. His HOLY and RIGHTEOUS hand. He holds it out for me to grab and He pulls me up. And He teaches me what it is like to trust Him. And It is so exciting.

I cannot explain how amazed I am that God chose little ole me to take this trip... But I am oh so thankful.

Much Love- Tessa

Monday, October 10, 2011

Bigger than me.

Today I went to a nursing home. I played dominoes for hours and just talked to these people.A nursing home is most likely the loneliest place I have ever been to.These people are hurting and a lot of the time not just physically.Some of them don't have any family anymore and some have family but are completely abandoned.So as I talked to these people that have been through so much.I saw the hurt and loneliness in their eyes. 
& once again my savior reminded me that this life is not just about me.

Saturday, October 8, 2011


This summer, I have the opportunity to go to Africa. My heart has longed to be in Africa for quite some time now. Yet this trip took me by total surprise. Africa was such a big dream of mine that I put it to a high accomplishment that I thought would take me a while to reach. But no. This summer, I am going to Africa. I am raising the money totally by faith. I must raise all of the money. But I am not worrying about that. God has total control over that. Actually He has total control over all of this. 

My heart hurts so much for the people in Africa. I have this intense passion to be with them. They are hurting and they are hungry and they are poor and dirty. They are everything that is an outcast in my country. Yet, I would much rather be spending time with them then most of the clean and well off people in my country. But you know, I have never been to Africa. I have not met many people from Africa. But yet, my heart is so intensely there. I find it so intriguing that you can have a connection with people that you have never met. You can have a love for someone that you have never even laid eyes upon. That's where I am at.

So, God isn't sending me over to some country just to say that I've have been there. God hasn't created this heart within me just to dream of a day when I will meet them. But I am going to Africa to love the people that my heart longs to be with. I am simply just going to love. I am so excited to take this crazy journey that Christ is sending me on. Lord willing, I will be in Africa this summer. And this makes my heart leap with joy.

Love- Tessa  

Thursday, September 22, 2011

This Busy Life.

Sometimes I wonder when life is gonna SLOW DOWN!
Don't get me wrong, I love my life so much! 
But everyday I am busy to maximum potential.
(Yet I still find time to blog)
But I don't want to sit here and complain for no reason.
This is the reason why I hate being so busy:
It takes an incredible amount of my heart and mind off of Jesus.
Not only that but I sometimes don't even get to have a quiet time with Him.
& that is right where the devil wants me.
So there you go.
I am trying my hardest to slow down, and sometimes I am just gonna have to say no.
Love you guys.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Imma Dreamer.

I dream about the day that I hike up a mountain to reach the lost.
I dream of the day when I am on a plane on the way to my next adventure.
The only life for me is the life of a nomad.
I don't believe I will ever stay in one place for to long.
My heart overflows with excitement to serve Him.
I would rather be overseas.
But for now.
I will serve Him right here in this small town.
At least I can dream.(:

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Eyes. Wide. Open.

Well hey there everyone,
It has defiantly been a while. Life is so busy. But here I am again writing another blog. I yet again have something wild stirring in my heart. It's about to burst!

So,yes, the dreaded school is back in. But you know what? I am so excited about this time of year! I could for sure do without the whole Algebra thing but there are SO many opportunities at my fingertips right now. God is pointing them out to me but what breaks my heart is I am not always listening.

Here is the thing, my heart is aching for the new kid who sits at lunch by themselves and the kid who is picked on day and night. But I am way to caught up in myself to realize that I can act on it or maybe I even realize I can but completely ignore it. Jesus lead by example. I want to be just like Jesus. Jesus loved the prostitutes and the beggars. And I want to be JUST like Jesus.

You see school is completely different from everything else(especially the small high schools). If you state you are a Christian, everybody knows. If you state you are a Christian and don't act like it, everybody knows. If you state you are a Christian and act like it, everybody knows. And everybody is watching you. I mean, we were warned by Jesus of this. He says in John 13:35 "By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” See that key word, EVERYONE. (:

So hey Christians, Join me in listening to our sweet savior's instructions on how to love. He will point it out. And if you listen, you will love HIM all the more. I promise. This is a hard challenge but I pray you take it with confidence. Love you all.


Monday, May 23, 2011


Joy. This three letter word is a significant one in the Christian life. Joy should be all over our face. All over our lives. And we should leave a path of it everywhere we go. Okay okay, I understand people have different personalities and are not gonna be happy all the time. I understand that. But truly, God tells us to be JOYFUL. In James 1 God says, "Consider it pure joy when you face adversity." What now?? God wants me to be joyful in times that are the worst?? God expects me to have a smile on my face when I lose a loved one, run out of money, get dumped, lose my job?? YES! In James 1:3 God states that your endurance has an opportunity to grow when your faith is tested.

But hold on a sec, just because we should consider it pure joy doesn't mean that we can't weep. Ecclesiastes 3 says there is a time for everything. And everyone knows the famous verse, Jesus Wept(John 11:35). Emotion is okay, It's normal. And in many ways necessary. But please understand something, as Christians we are called to be different. Anyone in the world can weep, and they can mourn but very few people who don't have Jesus can find JOY in the midst of hard and messy situations of life. This is truth. You know why?? Because JESUS IS OUR JOY. He is our comfort and our savior. Our savior from Hell but also from worry, and stress. And a person without Jesus, simply can't have PURE JOY. Maybe that statement is to bold, But I believe it with all my heart.

A huge problem that a lot of Christians run into is pity and the feeling that they don't deserve what they are getting. If that is you, LISTEN UP. We deserve Hell. Jesus DIED on a cross to save us from this place. I am pretty sure that being beaten and hung on a cross to die is far worse then anything we will ever experience in our lives. Just the fact that Jesus was PERFECT and still chose to walk this SINFUL earth for us should be enough to convince us that we deserve nothing. But one thing: HELL. Harsh? Nope. Truth.

My prayer is that you don't feel good after reading this. I pray that you feel convicted and you feel ready to do whatever it takes to let people see Jesus in your life. Work on this with me. Let's rise against the current of the Lukewarm and comfortable church.

Love yall,

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

I am Second.

Hey guys! Long time no type(?) I have to say that was kind of cheesy. So I have been really busy lately but craving to type something! So here it goes. Would you like to know what God is doing in this heart of mine?? K! I will tell you. (:

How often do we think of ourselves? How often do I think of myself?? These are the questions stirring my heart lately. How many times a day do I say I? It's a crazy amount, let my tell you. So right now I am changing things, not by myself of course. God is changing the way I think. By prayer He is helping me in this way.

So I challenge you to check yourself. Stop thinking about yourself and focus on others. Focus on God. (:

Love Yall!!!

Saturday, April 30, 2011

The trees. (: Hehe.

I absolutely love to travel. Some of my family lives in Texas and so we travel over here a lot(I'm in Texas right now). I could stay in a car forever. As long as I have music of course and a pillow to sleep on. (: Often when we travel though I tend to look at the trees... It's the funniest thing because everytime I look at the trees I fall more and more in love with God. I sit there and look at these enormous trees that have been there for years and years... and I think, my God is BIGGER and has been here LONGER. He creates the wind that sways these huge giants. My God is mighty. Wow. So next time you travel, look at the trees. ;)

Saturday, April 16, 2011

A love letter from God...(:

Hey there,
I am writing you a letter to let you know that you are BEAUTIFUL. (Psalms 45:11) You are my lovely child. I want to let you know that the world will put standards on your image. The Devil is using those stick thin models and that girl who always gets all the attention from the guys in class to put you down. But I am begging you. Please don't listen. I made YOU just the way you are. I adore you. You are precious. I am telling you now that a "special someone" will come into your life and then break your heart. You will feel ugly, self conscious, and worthless. Be prepared. But cling to me. I will let you know that you are mine. You wont listen for a little while. You will let the Devil beat you down over and over again until your so weak that you fall on me. I wish you wouldn't but you do it everytime. Why can't you just see how special you are? Why do you judge your "likeability" and Image on whether you have guys/girls swarming around you all the time. YOU ACT LIKE I AM NOT ENOUGH. You have heard me tell you how great you are over and over again. It hurts me when you just disregard that. It hurts me when you don't listen to me. You push me away time and time again. The World will never see you as beautiful if you are with me. The world hates you. Yet they are attracted to you. Because you have me.
The world will push you to go beyond my standards. They will say things like it's okay if it is true love. But the world DOES NOT KNOW TRUE LOVE. (1 John 4:7) Do not stretch the standards I have given you. Remember,TRUE LOVE waits.(Hebrews 14:3) I am very pleased with you when you obey what I have commanded. When you do, you make me smile. The world will tell you that it is necessary for you to date. But if I say NO, you can't. Even though you may disobey me and break my heart, I will still love you. I will convict you and break you and gently put your heart back together. And you will fall in love with me again. (Matthew 22:37) If you follow what I have told you, in the dating world, You will stand out like a lily among thorns. In the end everyone will see that YOU ARE the most beautiful. Don't you know that I love you.
You. Are. Beautiful.
I love you,
Your Heavenly Father

*I am in no way claiming to be God or even close to being Him. I just want to encourage you with some things He has been revealing to me. God and I just want you to know that you are beautiful. (:

Monday, February 28, 2011

A Facebook Fast.

Tessa + 1 month without Facebook = Interesting outcomes.(:

So God gave me a challenge at the end of January: To take a whole month off of Facebook. I realized that Facebook had become an addiction in my life. And though it's hard to say... A god. Everyday after school I would get on Facebook and stay on for hours. I would think about Facebook during the day and wound up talking about it with other people through just simple conversations. In effect to that it cut into my family time, God time, and just my thought process of what God needed me to think about.

So has a month without Facebook changed me? In a way, Yes. God has used this sort of "fast" in bigger ways than expected. I no longer am captive to the Facebook monster. My goal through this? Well, that is to tear down EVERY wall that could block my view and communication with my heavenly father. So. I am starting to do that in my life. Not just with Facebook. But with words, relationships, movies, shows, thoughts, well, Just everything! I want to live above just a lukewarm Christian. I want to live life to the Holiest possible way I can. Not saying that I could ever be perfect, cause I can't. But if I am trying to live my life purely. My prayer is that I can please God.

In no way am I saying that Facebook is a sin, because it's not. God can use your Facebook in HUGE ways!! Just let Him. And if He is telling you to take a break. Do it. He can use that as well. Who knows. He could change your life. (:

Alright. Love you guys, TESSA<3

Saturday, January 29, 2011

And these students... They're gonna change the world.

WOW! What an amazing night at Choudrant High School. So what happened was we had a 6 on 6 dogdeball tournament, a guest speaker, free food, worship, and door prizes. All free. But more than anything that night many lives were transformed. My fellow students were broken by a God who saves. That's exactly what He did tonight!!! Not only that but many of the students were called to a higher level of Christianity, that is to live life selflessly, and always worshiping the savior in EVERYTHING!

As for me. God stirred my heart in a way only He and I can understand. But honestly God showed me His power. Students He had laid on my heart months earlier gave their lives to Him TONIGHT! He is working. And He is answering prayers!!

Please pray for my fellow students. May they stay strong when life hits them hard.

With love, Tessa(:

Friday, January 28, 2011

And our freshman maid is...

WHOA!! So I was recently on homecoming court at school. I'm sure most of yall know. What a crazy and overwhelming adventure! From start to finish. NEVER would I guess that I would be on homecoming court. But I was. And I'm grateful.

My prayer is that I was not put on a pedestal but that God was through this whole thing. I pray that my name just brought God glory. That was my prayer. So I just thought I would share some picture.(:

I'm thankful for my classmates. I love them soo much! Thank you for everyone who came.(:

Here they are:

With love, Tessa

Monday, January 10, 2011

And this... is REAL.

Tonight I wanted to write something inspiring. But you see. I don't know how to just sit down and write something and it automatically is great and honorable. I can type what is real though. But real isn't pretty. Real is hard. Real is:
A mother loosing her baby.
A soldier going off and never returning home.
A student getting bullied at school.
An abused wife.
An abused... Child.
A motherless baby.
A widow.
A shattered family.
A broken heart.
A house fire.
A drug attic.
Real is a homeless man.
A single TEENAGE mother.
A laid off worker.
A poor family.
A WORLD totally neglecting the fact that there IS A GOD.

REAL things bring us to our knees. REAL things keep us broken. REAL things keep our attention. They keep us awake. And alert. Real is also:
A happy marriage.
A steady church home.
A LOVED child.
A pure teenager.
A promise.
A friendship.

REAL is good too. REAL is love. REAL is loving one another. It takes you by the strings of your heart. And it shakes you. You see. God. He is real. I can promise you that. The REAL things that I listed first. They can't be fixed by a fake thing. Only a REAL thing can comfort or protect or fix or mend real things. And God is REAL!!

Maybe this is completely random. Maybe this blog doesnt make sense. But if you happen to be something that I listed in the first list. God can TREMENDOUSLY improve your situation. He is here. His love is mighty. And His LOVE IS REAL. That is the absolute truth.

If you feel hopeless right now. And you feel like you can't bare an ounce of anything else. Come to a God who is real. Not a statue. But a PERSONAL SAVIOR. Come and embrace His undending love. Need help? Well that's what I'm here for. I love you. I really do. Talk to me. Okay. Bye.

With love, Tessa.